act like it {adem}

[Tsukishima "Suki" Kagome]

Now it don't mean a thing
Love Is just embarassing

Suki leaned back against the wall, a silver-encrusted flask in one hand. She forgot whose house this was. What did it matter? The parties were all the same. The smells overwhelming, the sounds numbing. You got used to it.

She needed this. School was too quiet. Far too much room to think. She needed loud noises and sensations. No emotions, just a tide of feeling that she could shrug off like it was nothing. 

A fae slid his arm across her collarbone and rested it on her shoulder. "Did you just get here or something?" she asked, like she didn't already know. His breath smelled like the mushrooms that many fae used as a replacer for cigarettes. She envied mortals on principle.

"This is my house," he mumbled as he moved to kiss her shoulder. His hands were far too soft. She shoved him off of her. "Waiting for someone?" he leered. 

She moved from her place at the wall. "Not you. I can't even see and I can see that much." she spat. He would forget it all in the morning. She didn't throw around her blindness- or any weakness- easily. But he already knew. It wasn't a secret she could keep forever.

And it was stupid that she was acting like she was waiting for someone. If Yedav didn't show, it meant she did a good job. It didn't matter if he always, always did. Half the time she didn't even want him there.

And then she felt something. Just a ripple in the world of whirling emotions. She stilled.   "Robin." she said. The she hadn't heard the owner of the house move. He was either glaring at her or too drunk to move. Suki didn't care. "When someone knocks," she said. "You're going to open it." She couldn't see. She didn't turn towards the door. 

She knew anyway. 

Adem Agni Yadav
Outfit + Music

[Adem Agni Yadav]

    Adem hated his job. He knew he couldn’t quit, as much as he might want to. The King and Queen paid him, but not as a reward, more as a bribe. It gave him some reason to keep doing the job, at least. Following their niece all over the Faewild was no easy feat, especially not for someone who already had too many problems of his own. So that was how Adem found himself in front of the dorm door. Music was thumping from behind it, the kind of pulsating beat that made the fae go wild. The kind of beat that matched the beat of his guilty little faerie heart. It made him want to go home.

    But she was in there. Suki. And for all his moaning and groaning about not liking his job, there was something about the girl’s carefree spirit that made him keep coming back for more. The way she carried herself by floating through this life without a care. He envied her. Maybe if he spent as much time around her as he could he would absorb some of that carefree spirit. Maybe he could become indifferent to his guilt, throbbing in his soul like poison. So he raised his hand and knocked. The door swung open immediately, to his surprise. An angry-looking faerie opened the door, his brows furrowed in disgust as he gave Adem the once-over. He couldn’t blame him. He certainly wasn’t dressed for a party. He was dressed for work.

    Taking a step over the threshold, Adem nodded awkwardly at the fae. “She’s over there.” the fae grunted, jutting a thumb over his shoulder. Adem nodded again, the door thudding closed like a judge’s gavel, sealing his fate. He could find Suki easily. The Folk seemed to carry themselves differently around a blind faerie, not wanting to bump into her. Ha. As if she was fragile. The boy took up residence against the wall, right next to his charge, but with a good distance between them. Best not to have anyone get any ideas. He silently took note of the flask in her hand. Should he speak? It wasn’t like Suki didn’t know he was there. She had a way of sensing his presence without any prompting. For his own sake, Adem cleared his throat. The silence between them was always too awkward, for him. “Evening.” he paused, fingers tapping against the strap of his leather bag. It was empty of illegal items tonight, thankfully. “Have you been having a good time so far?”

TAGS: Tsukishima "Suki" Kagome

★fai

I placed my bets, and it's not worth anything.

[Tsukishima "Suki" Kagome]

Now it don't mean a thing
Love Is just embarassing

Suki snorted. Here he was, being all prim and proper like the last time she saw him she hadn't shoved her tongue down his throat. Like some kind of idiot, too. What did she think was going to happen?

She didn't know if she was guilty or just frankly amused at the things she did when she was drunk. She wasn't sober enough for there to be much to compare it to. Long walks in the woods, bare feet on prickly needles, or slammed against a wall with some music that was too loud. She was all the same girl, refusing to slow down, never taking a moment to be alone with her thoughts.

She knew too well what would happen if she did. When she was young, she would tear off into the woods at any chance. She still remembered the visual piece of the world like that-- all dappled sunlight and spilled-wine leaves. That was before her world became glitz and glitter and an embarrassment of riches. An embarrassment of everything and everyone. Back then, she enjoyed being still. Now the only time she walked in the woods was to avoid someone at a party.

Her aunt thought she could tame her. She didn't understand the Suki wouldn't just bite the hand that fed her, she would tear it off. She didn't understand that the name Kagome meant "lost," because that was what Suki was, eternally lost, a fated wandered. Nothing could pull her in any direction. She had found no current strong enough.

"I've been great," she drawled, leaning against the wall in a way that looked relaxed but was really meant to verify that her memory of this house was correct. "I don't imagine you dropped by on a social visit? You don't seem the partying type, but I bet you'd be a whole lot of fun."

She didn't know why she bothered, words dripping from her lips like honey. He wouldn't care one bit about the taste. And she still remembered how he tasted. 

Adem Agni Yadav
Outfit + Music

[Adem Agni Yadav]

    Everytime Adem was around Suki, he didn’t know which feeling he’d get. Sometimes he was calm, civil, even. Other times he was annoyed. Other times he felt things he’d rather not think too much about. He was here strictly for business, because it was his job to watch over her. Because he was being paid to do it. Yes, not because of anything else. Certainly not. Whatever had passed between them in the woods would never happen again. Adem would be able to watch over her tonight. He’d make sure she was okay, follow her to her dorm, and go to sleep. Not at her dorm, at his. Obviously. Obviously. He scanned the room again, hoping that some people-watching would distract him from the flurry of thoughts that plagued him when he was around Suki. He didn’t see anything too interesting though. Him and Suki were probably the most interesting pair in the whole room. That was a thought he really didn’t want to dwell on.

    “Great.” He repeated. Why did he repeat it? Ugh, that was so awkward. “That’s good.” It seemed that half of the words Adem said to her were comments on her wellbeing, on how glad he was that she was doing well. It was his job after all, to make sure she was okay. That was perfectly normal for his station. His stomach dropped at her next comment, and it was objectively interesting to see how all of the skills he developed after years of hiding his feeling just fell away. Maybe it was because she couldn’t see his face. But he knew she could feel it, with that uncanny sense of hers. So she wanted to be facetious? Well, Adem wasn’t entirely empty of all humor.

    “I dropped by, as you say, because it’s my job.” Why was she being like this, hinting at everything that had happened between them? Well, he didn’t even need to ask. Adem knew her well. It was all because she knew how easily she could make him squirm. And oh, how she loved seeing him squirm. “You would know, wouldn’t you?” He smirked wickedly. And though she couldn’t see it, he sure hoped she’d hear it. “If I recall correctly, last time we were… together, you seem to have been the one to initiate everything that happened.”

TAGS: Tsukishima "Suki" Kagome

★fai

I placed my bets, and it's not worth anything.

[Tsukishima "Suki" Kagome]

Now it don't mean a thing
Love Is just embarassing

Suki tilted her head up so that she was looking at him. It was just for the effect. She couldn't see a thing either way but people got uncomfortable when they felt like she wasn't looking at them. They didn't get that she was always watching, always paying attention. Anything else was performative. 

And her whole life was performative. Everything she did was to be watched-- to be seen but never to see. It was the greatest dramatic irony. But while it may be intriguing, it wasn't exciting to live. It was just exhausting. Performing on a stage she couldn't see. The lights were too bright.

"Is that a regret of yours?" she asked, and her voice was low, some to keep quiet, but some to keep the anger out of it. She didn't know what she was angry at. She was angry at the world, at this situation, at the mistakes she made and the fact that she couldn't bring herself to be sorry. It would be so much easier if she could be sorry. If she could accept that she did something wrong. But she never ever could.

She could hear it in his voice. He wasn't really sorry either. Would they then crash together? Or was this a lovely enough mistake? She doubted it.


"Just go then." she snapped. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that she was here and he was here but she couldn't have him. It wasn't fair that he wanted to control her and she wanted to let him. It wasn't fair that he mattered when they both knew he shouldn't. It wasn't fair that after all this, they had circled back to "It's my job." 


"Go. I'm releasing you from your job. I'll take the blame for anything that happens to me." She wouldn't regret it. She would make her own mistakes, but he wouldn't be one of them. 

She always faced the world and said "make me." She always refused the accept that she made a mistake and barreled on anyway or ducked out of the way. Was it because she really hadn't made a mistake or just because she couldn't bear the notion? What did it look like to course-correct?

Suki didn't know. She would rather crash. She would rather drown. 

Adem Agni Yadav
Outfit + Music

[Adem Agni Yadav]

    Adem despised the way her eyes captivated him. She couldn’t even see what he looked like, couldn’t see him glaring back, but he’d do it for as long as she’d let him. He wished he could put on a show the way she did. It felt like Suki always put on a show because, well, why not? He, on the other hand, needed it to survive. Without his performance, his life would be over. He needed his show. It kept them ignorant, kept him sane. What did Suki need it for? Maybe she had her inner battles, but aside from that, she had everything. Her aunt and uncle were the rulers of one of the Cardinal Courts, and even before that, her parents had been a prominent noble couple. She had been born with everything, had been born with the ability never to have to want for more. She’d grown up privileged, whereas Adem had not.

    On top of all that, he had bigger problems to worry about than money and privilege. He had secrets that needed to be kept and burdens that needed to be borne. He sighed frustratedly. “I told you already. The day I regret what happened may come, but it hasn’t yet.” He was quiet for a while, wondering if he should have been so honest with her. Well, Suki was always so indifferent to the way people felt about what she said, so why couldn’t he be the same way? Besides, it was actually the truth. Adem didn’t feel like lying or keeping secrets with Suki, either. It was just another person whom he needed to have a facade with. Suki didn’t care, and neither did he.

    He eyed the flask in her hand, wondering for the second time that night how much exactly she’d had to drink from that. Goblets were dangerous to drink from, and the risk of poison being introduced was too high, especially around the Folk. Flasks lowered the risk, but not enough to eliminate Adem’s worries about it. He was about to ask her if he could see it, but she spoke again, and Adem’s heart dropped. “No.” Certainly not. He would not be leaving her here. Alone, exposed. “You know that’s not how it works. Your aunt and uncle employ me. They are the ones with expectations for me. No matter what you say, if something happens to you, it will be my fault.”

    He realized he’d drawn closer to her as he’d spoken, pressing her against the wall, with an arm extending to touch hers. She needed to realize that there was a bigger picture. Adem had grown used to the chaos found in the constancy of following her around, and he’d grown accustomed to the fat paycheck that came along with it. He needed this job, as much as he hated to admit it. But what he hated to admit even more was that he didn’t like the thought of leaving her alone. He lowered his voice. This was all too reminiscent of that night in the woods. He couldn’t find it in himself to care. “Even if I didn’t have my two haughty noble employers to worry about, I still wouldn’t want to leave.” He brushed a hair away from her face. “You know that, though, don’t you?” His hand moved from her hair to her cheek, and it was exactly the same thing he’d done that night. He should stop, he knew that for a fact. But they were both catastrophes waiting to happen. Why not let them collide into a bigger disaster, a brighter explosion? His voice was no more than a whisper now. “You always know.”

TAGS: Tsukishima "Suki" Kagome

★fai

I placed my bets, and it's not worth anything.

[Tsukishima "Suki" Kagome]

Now it don't mean a thing
Love Is just embarassing

The day that I regret it may come.

“Say it.” she said, pulling him closer to her. Maybe he expected her to push him away, but she just couldn’t. She dropped her flask on the floor, the wine inside it splashing out. She didn’t even look at it. ”Say that you regret it, that you don’t want this or you don’t want me, and I’ll stop.” Her arm was around his neck. Her back was against the wall. She couldn’t move if she wanted to, and she didn’t want to.

He couldn’t lie. She couldn’t either. If he said it, here, now, she would know he meant it. Could she bear it? Did she have a choice?


She wondered how she could do this, cut herself again and again on the same mistakes and still be surprised when they left the taste of blood in her mouth. Maybe she liked the taste of blood, or maybe she liked the taste of him more. And she could almost taste him, even now. He was so close. Too close. If the fae couldn’t lie, how could she tell him she’d stop?

She really believed it, but all that did was make her the worst kind of liar. The one who was never honest, not even to herself. The one who would rather burn herself with passion then be safe. The one who didn’t just dare to get hurt, but searched for it.

If it wasn’t this, what would it be? If it wasn’t him, wouldn’t it just be another mistake? Another person, another drink, another blade. If she wasn’t hurting, if she wasn’t always wanting something she couldn’t have, was she even herself?

He was cupping her face. You always know. It was true. The narrative of him was so tangled up in her, and she didn’t know where to start. Their heartbeats were the same. She had felt it before, but only with him. It seemed impossible.

Could she really be happy? Could she really be satisfied? Would there ever be a day where she could sit and exist and be enough? Or would she always be reaching for another mistake, another relationship, another anything? Anything at all, so long as it was distracting.

The real question was what she was running from. She had never stopped running. She had been tearing off into the woods anytime someone asked her a question she didn’t want to answer, ducking behind banisters anytime someone came looking from her. She started running when she was a child and she never looked back. But what did it look like to be here, to stay here, to slow down and look at him and answer. What did it look like to be enough for someone and to allow herself to stay that way?



She didn’t think she could. She was sure it would hurt too much, sure that she would just collapse in on herself from the weight of her own joy. She was sure that whatever had been was the way that it would be and it was crazy to try to be different. And maybe she was wrong, but Suki had always been the worst kind of liar. She would do it again. She was just waiting for him to realize. She was just waiting for him to say it.

Adem Agni Yadav
Outfit + Music

[Adem Agni Yadav]

    Adem tried to say it. He really did. But the words just didn’t come out. It was like he’d forgotten to speak, or he just couldn’t speak at all. He couldn’t say the lie. He knew he should, just like he knew that he shouldn’t want this at all. But he did. And so he couldn’t give Suki what she expected, he had to give her what she wanted instead. “But I’m fae.” He dropped his hands to her waist, pulling her even closer still. There was not an inch of space that their bodies weren’t touching. He could feel her breath mixing with his. “And I don’t regret it, and I do want this, and I do want you.” Well there it was. He was fae after all.

    And then he did it. He kissed her. Adem was reminded of that night in the Faewild, her skin under the Blue Moon. He leaned into the kiss, knowing what he was doing. It was as if he did this all the time. He knew how his body responded to the feel of her, and how hers responded to him. He knew to expect the race of his heart. He knew to expect that feeling of her heartbeat thrumming along with his. He knew to expect that feeling of Suki’s heartbeat becoming his. His becoming hers. He hated to think that thought, of their hearts becoming one. It was so cliche, but it was true.

    Adem let himself stop, savor the moment. Suki wasn’t going anywhere, and neither was he. He let himself taste the feeling, taste her. And in that taste, his reverie was broken. His eyes snapped open, and he pulled away, mind racing. That taste was all wrong. He remembered her sour raspberry taste, the danger laying on the tip of her tongue. So why did she taste sweet? It was a chemical sweetness, like the kind of flavor one got when taking medicine flavored to go down easier. It was all wrong. He crouched, picking up the flask from its neglected spot on the floor. He gave it a tentative sniff. Just as he expected, the smell matched the taste. “What’s in this?” he demanded. Suki was not crazy enough to be drinking poison, so then why did she taste like it. He hoped she’d sense the urgency of the situation. The fae were a tricky kind, and had no qualms about poisoning random Folk. “Suki, where did you get this?”

TAGS: Tsukishima "Suki" Kagome

★fai

I placed my bets, and it's not worth anything.

[Tsukishima "Suki" Kagome]

If i'm gonna be drunk
I might as well be drunk in love

Suki could feel everything. She was cold, but he was so warm. The wall against her back. His hands on her. His heartbeat, so steady, even now. The silence between them could have filled a book with everything it said.

He had said he would regret it. When? He said he didn't regret it now? Would she always be waiting for that final blow, that fall that she couldn't recover from? Did she care? Not so long as he was kissing her.

And he was kissing her. It shouldn't be such a novelty to her, how good he tasted. How good he felt. So long as she could feel everything, all she wanted to feel was him. 

She felt cold to her bones, but he was so warm. So close. Almost too close. But it was fine, as long as it was just him. As long as she didn't have to think about anything else.

And then he moved back. Why did he move back? It was so cold now, with him gone. He was like a fire, the only thing that could keep her warm.

Suki leaned against the wall. Her head was spinning. The world was spinning. Not the way her world usually was. Usually it was all a blur, glittering lights and bad choices. This was different. Adem's touch usually set her on edge, but now she couldn't find her footing.

The ground was unsteady. The wall was basically the almost thing holding her up. Adem was speaking through a fog. She blinked. "I got it from.." she trailed off. She couldn't remember. Where was she?

She felt herself fall. Her eyes blinked shut. She tried to keep them open, but she couldn't. There was nothing to focus on. His heartbeat was fluttering out of focus. Or was it hers? They were the same. She knew his just as well as she knew her own. She hadn't even fallen yet and she could already feel the impact. 

It was fine. He said he wouldn't let her go. He wouldn't let her fall. 

Adem Agni Yadav
Outfit + Music

[Adem Agni Yadav]

    Adem watched her, concern rising like a high tide. He thought the heat was just a side effect of their closeness, but Suki’s skin was growing much too clammy to be normal. If his inference was correct, she would be feeling cold, but a fever would be rising much too fast to be normal. His arms were around her, and he could feel her swaying in a manner that did not indicate inebriation. She trailed off, leaving him with even more concern than he started with. The swaying increased, and just as he went to put his arm out to steady her, she went completely limp. Now Adem was in full panic mode. His biggest concern at this moment was not, ‘Someone poisoned her.’, rather, it was the mere thought that she had been poisoned, regardless of who did it, that set him on such an edge. It was ironic, really. As long as he’d been employed as Suki’s protector, no real danger had ever come near her. Now, after she’d tried to let him go, Adem’s skills would finally come in handy.

    He felt himself go into autopilot. An arm braced itself around Suki’s back, holding her up as he bent to collect the flask, capping it quickly before slipping it into his bag. Adjusting the bag so that it lay parallel to his back, Adem slipped a long arm under her knees and lifted her, bridal style, so that she was cradled against his chest. As he began to wade through the sea of people, he realized was surprised at himself. Surprised that he knew what to do, surprised that he was able to control the anger he felt, surprised that he even felt anger at all. It thrummed through his veins like a match, drawn close to a fuse, not yet lit, but dangerously close to detonating. He pushed through the crowd and let himself out the door.

    He checked the halls, trying not to jostle her as he did. They were empty, as students were encouraged to stay in their dorms after a certain time. Adem checked again and turned left, doing his best to keep his body flush against Suki's. She was losing heat, and fast. The cool air of the stone corridor allowed him a chance to think. What he was about to do was probably stupid, but it had a high chance of saving her. He wouldn’t lose the one comfort he’d just been rewarded with to some rapey faerie who'd decided he wouldn't even try to get someone to come to bed with him consensually. Sadly, roofie-type poisons weren't even expensive around these parts. He hoped none of his dormmates would be around. It was too late to turn around. Adem was going to do it. He was taking Suki to his room.

3-hour time skip

    By now, it was well into the night. Thanks to Adem’s efforts, Suki's fever had gone down, her breathing had evened out, and her skin had returned to its normal shade. He had been lucky not to encounter any of his dormmates, who'd thankfully gone to bed or gone out for the night. But that didn't stop him from having beelined to his room and locking the door. He'd lain Suki down on his bed, taking stock of her symptoms quickly before ripping open his cabinet and measuring out ingredients to make a basic antidote. Once Adem had gotten that running through her system, he took a look at the flask. At first glance, it had seemed like wine, but the smell was much too cloying to be faerie wine, as cloying as faerie wine was. Further investigation led him to see what kind of poison it was.

    Hydrangea extract. A pretty flower, but it had its secrets. It wouldn’t kill Suki, but he didn’t know the amount she had ingested or the intensity. All he decided for her was a close watch and some more antidote needed to be administered periodically to purge the flower from her system. Adem scrubbed a hand over his face. He didn’t want to sleep, in case Suki needed him, but it was getting harder to keep his eyes open. He rose, going over to the bed to place a hand over her forehead. It was still sticky with sweat, but it had gone cold. He wiped her face with a cold cloth and parked himself in his desk chair. It was not comfortable enough to sleep in, but comfortable enough to pass the time in. His ingredients were still out on the desk, so he settled into the rhythm of making more antidote, pouring small dosages into little phials for future use. He was getting sleepier though. Adem turned to peek at Suki quickly. He felt that he was worrying too much about her. He sighed, impatient. "Oh hell, Suki. Please wake up soon."

TAGS: Tsukishima "Suki" Kagome

★fai

I placed my bets, and it's not worth anything.

[Tsukishima "Suki" Kagome]

If i'm gonna be drunk
I might as well be drunk in love

Suki was in Adem's arms one moment, and then she was in his arms again, but the world was sideways. And then it was dark in her mind, and then it was darker. She tasted something floral. Something bittersweet? Was it him? He always tasted to her like burnt caramel-- almost sweet if it wasn't covered up by smoke. But he was bittersweet. Everything about him was.

Everything about this was. He was here, and that was good, but she couldn't breathe, and she tased flowers in her mouth again. She tried to speak, but her words slurred together. She didn't even know what she wanted to say.

Then it was nothing. Then it was just empty.

----- Timeskip ----

Suki blinked awake. Once. Twice. It was odd, because she was almost surprised that she saw nothing. She rubbed her eyes like it would do anything. Sometimes when she woke up she forgot. Sometimes she thought that her parents were alive again and she was safe and all was well.

And then she woke up, and her mouth tasted like a goddamn garden.

Strange sensations weren't uncommon to her. Not after a night out. She woke up on the floor, in her roommate's bed-- or someone else's. Her hands were strangely limp. She lifted them one at time, rolling out her wrists slowly.

What was that smell?

She rolled onto her side and slid her hands out before her. Her heart was hammering. Where was she? This wasn't her room. She didn't hear anyone next to her, but someone was in the room.

Was she positive it was Adem that was carrying her?

What if it was someone else?

She bunched up her hands on the sheets, trying to keep her body language calm, but her mind was racing. Had she been drugged? By who? Why? That was her flask. Not many had access to it. That was why she carried one. But then this..

She paused. Focused on the heartbeat. It gave her a sense of peace. It was constant. 

That had to be Adem's.

Up close or a mile away, she would know that heartbeat. She knew it better than her own, more consistent than the sun. She found herself reach for it in times of trouble. If he was close, then it had to be fine. It was so quiet here, and she had to be safe because Adem was here. It would be so easy to fall back into the syrupy dark, but if she did, she felt that she wouldn't wake up again.

But maybe it didn't matter. Maybe she had done enough. Her eyes fluttered once, twice. She was falling. She tried to reach for him, but she was falling.

Adem Agni Yadav
Outfit + Music

[Adem Agni Yadav]

    Adem wasn’t sure how much time had passed. He’d finished up another batch of antidote, and, thinking that he was being too proactive, decided that he’d made enough for now. He’d pulled his chair up by the bed and settled in with one of his Herbalism textbooks, though he couldn’t concentrate on it. Suki’s forehead was still shining with sweat, and though he knew her fever had broken, he wasn’t sure if she was comfortable. He rose, peeling the comforter off of the top half of her body, so only her legs were covered. He reached for the cloth, skillfully ignoring her outfit for what felt like the millionth time that night. Dabbing her face, his eyelids drooping as he did so. He would not fall asleep, he promised himself. He would be awake when Suki woke, even if he looked half dead with exhaustion.

    He settled back into his chair. Adem was able to read until the words began to blur on the page. How much of his reading he’d actually absorbed, he wasn’t sure. His eyelids drooped down once more, and Adem didn’t know if three hours had passed since he’d checked on Suki or three minutes. He got up, placing his book back on the bookshelf, not bothering with trying to select another one. Trying to read at this hour of the night with the level of energy he had was quite futile. He noticed that the candle on his nightstand was running low, so he lit another one next to it. The rhythm in which he was moving about was so comfortable, he realized. Though he was still worried about Suki, it was comfortable, taking care of her, simply being with her. It would be preferable if she were conscious, of course, but he wasn’t going to wake her up just because he was bored.

    It was unfortunate that he had such a small bed though. If it were bigger he might have been able to lay down on the very edge of the bed, as far away from her as he could. From the fact that there was a girl in his bed to the clothes she was (or wasn’t) wearing, Adem could almost feel, very tangibly, his mother’s disappointment. It was no matter that the poor girl had just been poisoned. He could hear Sujaya already: ‘Heal her on the floor if you really have to!’ What a terrible example he was setting for his siblings. Luckily they would never find out. If Adem was totally honest, he was half convinced that the very scandal of his situation would actually summon his mother here to end him. Who knew? The fae had their ways.

    Adem gave in, and sat on the edge of the bed, trying his best not to jostle Suki. He watched her, amazed at how young she looked while she slept. He supposed it happened to everyone, though. One’s guard was only ever completely down when they slept. And Suki, always one to put up a facade, was no exception. He reached a hand up to stroke her cheek. She was so warm, and he was so cold. If only he could crawl under the covers with her and sleep. Maybe forever. He hand stroked her hair, fingers twisting the strands. Adem thought he saw her eyelids flutter. Then they fluttered again. One of her hands reached up and then fell down again. Was she waking up finally? “Suki,” he started, his voice husky with exhaustion. “I’m here.” he wanted to scoop her up in his arms so she would feel him when she woke up. He settled for keeping his hand in her hair, watching, waiting.

TAGS: Tsukishima "Suki" Kagome

★fai

I placed my bets, and it's not worth anything.

[Tsukishima "Suki" Kagome]

If i'm gonna be drunk
I might as well be drunk in love

Suki turned her head towards him like the light might filter in. Like she might get her sight back, just for a moment. Sometimes she forget the deal she had made. Sometime she grieved losing not her sight but the girl she had been before that choice. Usually, though, she just ignored it.[break][break]

Suki moved fast and talked faster. She kissed and told and fell into someone else's arms all in one night. She didn't slow down to consider the consequences of her actions. How could she, when they reverberated so fast and so suddenly? But now she was here. [break][break]

She wasn't sure where here was. Glitter in her hair. Glitter on the sheets. Sheets? Not her sheets. They didn't smell right. Too bitter. Burnt caramel. Adem. Someone was talking to her. She was so much waking up as emerging from the dark. She had fallen, and it was a long way down. [break][break]

And it was Adem, and it had always been him. He was talking to her. She could feel his heartbeat-- just as methodical as ever. That had to him who had his hand twined in her hair. She didn't know how long she had been asleep, but she knew that he was here, and that relaxed her more than it should have. But that taste in her mouth-- brittle, metallic--
[break][break]

Her eyes had been fluttering shut. Now they snapped open. She did her best to sit up but it didn't work. She grabbed Adem's wrist. Hard. Nails digging into his skin. Pain was the best way to get attention. Hurt them and they'll notice you. It was one of the first lessons she had learned, and she learned it well.  [break][break]

"Where am I?" she asked him seriously. Too seriously. The dark was crowding, and it was threatening to take her, but she wouldn't let it. Wouldn't let it slur her words or her thoughts. Would let herself fall into his arms when she was already falling behind. She would hold on as long as she could. She would hold on until she had no choice but to fall. [break][break]

If she had been out, something had happened. She hadn't drank that much. She knew what she could handle and what she couldn't. And the taste she remembered was one she had experienced once before. It was the reason she drank out of a flask. When she was four, she had been poisoned. [break][break]

Her parents were still alive. Her father lifted her in his arms and they rode. Somewhere. She didn't know where. The healer did his work. She hadn't known, then, how close she was to death. She knew later. She realized it when her parents started checking her food every day until they died. She still did it. Nothing was safe her, not for the child no one wanted. [break][break]

And now? It wasn't the same taste, but she knew enough. If she had been poisoned, it meant a lot. It could mean someone just wanted her knocked out or someone wanted her dead. And Adem's family had served her aunt for years, and she wasn't sure her aunt wouldn't try to dispose of her. Which meant that she had been right. She couldn't trust anyone. She was safe when she was alone. She wondered if she was holding his wrist tight enough to draw blood. She wondered if he would stop her. [break][break]

Adem Agni Yadav
Outfit + Music

[Adem Agni Yadav]

    Adem watched as Suki snapped back into consciousness. Her blank eyes shot open, and though she tried to sit up, it didn’t work. He rose out of his chair in surprise, crouching by the bed to lay a hand over her forehead. Her hand snatched his wrist before he could, though, nails digging into his wrist. It was too painful to be comfortable, but he didn’t mind the pain. It meant Suki was safe. He’d done something right. He’d saved her. Everything would be okay. But her voice, raspy with disuse, was sharp against the walls of his dorm room. Her tone was serious, and Adem realized, uncomfortably, that this may not have been the first time she’d done this.

    “You’re in my dorm room,” he responded, keeping his voice level and calm. For the first time, he wondered how she must feel, unable to see. Adem knew that when one sense was removed, the rest were amplified. It was probably scary to wake up in a place filled with unfamiliar smells and unfamiliar textures, let alone a place she couldn’t even see. But these thoughts didn’t come from fear of Suki feeling scared of him. He knew she could handle her own, knew she was more than capable of incapacitating him if she so felt the need. But the feeling of needing to protect her, watch over her, was still there. He cared about her, whether he wanted to or not. And with that came that protective feeling of needing her to be okay, that feeling that had taken him over when she’d collapsed.

    “Someone at that party poisoned you, and you collapsed.” her nails were still digging into his skin. They would leave a mark, surely. He didn’t mind. “I brought you here because it was closer than your dorm was. I gave you an antidote and kept administering it throughout the night. You were poisoned with hydrangea extract.” He paused, wondering what else he should tell her. What else would help? He needed her to know that she was safe, from the poison and whomever had poisoned her both. “I tried to make myself busy while you were out.” Another pause. “I didn’t touch you, I promise. If--- if that's what you're worried about.” Why did he feel like he still owed that one reassurance? Adem didn’t think she would feel he’d done anything else to her, but he wanted to make sure she knew she was safe. There were evil people in this world. He needed her to know he wasn’t one of them. Or wasn’t trying to be, anyway. Maybe it was his imagination, but it felt like her grip had softened on his wrist.

TAGS: Tsukishima "Suki" Kagome

★fai

I placed my bets, and it's not worth anything.

[Tsukishima "Suki" Kagome]

If i'm gonna be drunk
I might as well be drunk in love

She could feel the weakness in her blood, but she wouldn't show it. Or he hadn't commented on it yet, so she would assume he didn't notice. She was used to noticing everything, used to knowing more than was safe. She was used to being dangerous. She wasn't dangerous now.



It wasn't uncommon for her to wake up in a room that wasn't hers, with few memories to how she got there. It wasn't uncommon for her to wake up next to someone and to leave first and it wasn't uncommon for her to never hear from them again. Everything about this was uncommon.



"What?" she said roughly, "One taste of me was enough? You'd be the first." Her words were harsh, but she was just trying to mask her gratitude. Others had tried, but he had by far had the best opportunity. She didn't let herself get caught off-guard. She didn't let herself get caught at all. She didn't sit still long enough.



Hydrangea extract. Should that mean something to her? It didn't. It would have been ironic to be killed in the same way as the High King when o one wanted to let her mattered, but she preferred living to dramatic irony. Especially when she could spite them either way.



Who was them, exactly? Her aunt, who wanted to make her useful instead of strong. Her parents, who had to be such hopeless romantics that they got themselves killed. Everyone who underestimated her. The people who killed her parents.



Probably the same people who had poisoned her now. The Kagome fortune had one heir, and she was holding onto life like she was holding onto Adem's wrist. Like his heart could beat for both of them. Like he would be enough. No one person was ever enough for her. It was an absurd ideal. But if she died, everything her father had done-- everything her mother had done-- it would all be for nothing. She was angry. She wasn't that angry.



And her self-preservation skills were bad, but that didn't mean she wanted to die. She wanted thrill, she wanted excitement. She wanted anything but the still and the quiet and that was what she had now. She hated it. She wanted to push herself up out of this bed and walk out. She wanted to throw out her barbed words and burn this bridge so badly he couldn't cross it again. She wasn't at all sure she could stand.



And if she couldn't? Some small voice in her told her to stay, to trust him, to sink back into sleep and let herself breath. It was the voice her mother had obeyed. The voice that got her killed. Suki didn't listen.



She turned her head. Released his wrist-- finally. She didn't let herself close her eyes, as badly as she wanted to. "If I go back to sleep now," she said, a tiny concession to her weakness. "Will I wake up?" She didn't let herself sound afraid. She didn't let herself sound anything. If only controlling her emotions was as easy as controlling her voice.





What she wanted-- what she really, really wanted, was to ask him to just hold her and let her sleep. What she wanted was to curl up in his warmth-- because he was so warm, because she could feel it from here-- and relax. She wasn't at all sure he would say no. She would not ask. 

Adem Agni Yadav
Outfit + Music